Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting.
Willow: It was like the heimlich... with stripes!

[Xander sniffs Buffy's hair]
Buffy: Okay, now what?
Xander: You took a bath.
Buffy: Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it.
Xander: That's okay.

Willow: Do you have a headache?
Xander: Yeah, and I think I know what's causing it.
[chucks textbook in the trash]
Xander: Ah, that's better. It goes right to the source of the pain.

Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And there's a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanour?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And otherwise, all spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles?
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course, you'll have to kill him.

Xander: I ate a pig? Was he cooked and called bacon, or... oh my god. I ate a pig?! I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuck!

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