Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to wave pom-poms at people. And as your Watcher, I forbid it.
Buffy: And you'll be stopping me how?

Xander: People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this... ooh, stretchy. Where was I?
Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.
Xander: Who said I was pretending?

Giles: That's the thrill of living on a Hellmouth. There's a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to engage.
[confused looks from all]
Giles: Well, pardon me for finding the glass half full.

Xander: So maybe Amber's got this power to make herself be on fire. It's like the Human Torch, only it hurts.

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

Willow: Her mom's kinda...
Buffy: Nazi-like?
Willow: Heil.

Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins! Let all lesser cretins bow before me!

Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. Oh, look - there I am.
Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex - I'm not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?

Joyce: Great parenting form... a little shaky on the dismount.

Xander: Wil, yeah, that is the point. You don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike.

Xander: First vampires, now witches... no wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.
Giles: But why should someone want to do that to Cordelia?
Willow: Maybe because... they met her?

Giles: Nice... kitty.

Cordelia: Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to 'alternate'. Hold it, wait - no I'm not.
Amy: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms.

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