Beneath You

Buffy: There's more like her, Dawn. Out there somewhere. And they're gonna die.

Xander: Days gone by, huh?
Dawn: I thought you hated Sunnydale.
Xander: Yes and no, with an emphasis on the yes. But at least then I was dating.
Buffy: You could be dating now.
Xander: I don't know what's not clicking for me right now.
Buffy: Well, there is that thing with Anya.
Xander: The leaving her at the altar thing?
Buffy: Yeah, that one.

Dawn: You guys really need to ease up with the whole dating demons thing.
Buffy: Uh, hello? I'm sorry, wasn't that you having the smooch-a-thon with Teen Vampire last Halloween?
Dawn: See, this is why I don't want you talking to my friends.

Robin: Just remember that while you are here to help, you're not here to be their friend. Trust me - you open that door, and these students will eat you alive.
Buffy: You heard about Principal Flutie, right?
Robin: Huh?
Buffy: Forget it.
Robin: Okay, then. And Buffy? Relax. There's only three things these kids understand: the boot, the bat, and the bastinada. [chuckles]
Buffy: [blank stare]
Robin: It's the... the... the bad joke, it's the bastinada... no one ever knows what that thing is...
Buffy: Wooden rod used to slap the soles of the feet in Turkish prisons but if made with the correct wood makes an awesome billy club.
Robin: I think you're gonna fit in just fine.

Giles: Try to be very specific. What exactly are you afraid of?
Willow: Well, for starters, how about the Hellmouth's getting all rumbly again? And now I know it's got teeth, and are those literal teeth because I don't know if I can handle it. And what if I can handle it? Does that mean I have to be a bigger, better badass than the source of all badness? And what if I give up all this control stuff, and I go all veiny and homicidal again and what if-..."
Giles: They won't take you back?

Nancy: You hear things in this town, living here in Sunnydale, but nobody actually believes them. You know, you'd have to be crazy, and... and you guys think that I'm crazy, don't you?
Xander: No. I don't.
Buffy: We've seen things too, Nancy.
Xander: We're gonna take care of this. It's your lucky night! Considering, you know, your dog just got all ate up and stuff... hey, can I freshen up your tea?
Nancy; No... that's okay, thanks.

Buffy: Okay, we're gonna split. Whatever this creature is, it's burrowing through solid ground. That means a strength and power that we don't usually deal with. But we may have to get used to, now that the Hellmouth is getting all perky.
Nancy: Shouldn't we call the police or something?
Xander: And tell them...?
Nancy: I'll stop interrupting.
Buffy: Xander, take Nancy home. Drive, don't walk, and try not to stop until you get there.
Xander: Understood.
Nancy: Is your girlfriend always this... commanding?
Xander: Who? Buffy? Oh, no no no no no. See, I mean, she's a girl, and she's a friend, but she's not my girlfriend...
Dawn: Xander? Little drool.

Buffy: Xander, take Nancy home. Spike and I will patrol.
Dawn: I'm command central, so everybody check in with me. [pause] Okay, I'll be here doing my homework, but the other one sounded cooler.

Dawn: Spike, you sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep?
Spike: Yeah. What's your point, Nibblet?
Dawn: I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all? Touch her? You're gonna wake up on fire.
[scene break]
Spike: You're awfully quiet.
Buffy: Wouldn't know what to say.
Spike: Fine with me. I was more than half expecting to get an earfull anyway, and when exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?

Spike: I can't say 'sorry'. I can't use 'forgive me'. All I can say is, Buffy, I've changed.
Buffy: I believe you.
Spike: Well, that's something.
Buffy: I just don't know what you've changed into. You come back into town, you make with the big surprises - twice. I don't know what your game is, Spike, but I know there's something you're not telling me.
Spike: You're right, there is. But we're not best friends anymore, so too bad for me. I'm not sharing.

Nancy: I still can't believe that all this is happening. I mean, even with this town's reputation for, you know, unexplained weirdness.
Xander: Right, Sunnydale - come for the food, stay for the dismemberment.
Nancy: There's good food?
[mutual chuckle, awkward pause]
Nancy: Well, thanks. That's a couple levels of lameness, me saying 'thanks' after everything you've done for me tonight.
Xander: Well, you could slip me a twenty, but then I'd have to act all offended.
Nancy: Got it. So, um, do you think I might instead give you a call sometime?
Xander: Just to check in?
Nancy: No, actually, I'm hitting on you.
Xander: Even better. I'm very listed.
Nancy: And I'm really pushy, so that works out, then.

Xander: Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm monster?
Anya: Heh. Yes.
Nancy: No way. Are you saying that that thing was Ronnie?
Anya: You wish it, I dish it. I thought we were clear on this. I didn't think you were gonna go all narc on me.

Buffy: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog!
Anya: Aw, a puppy...
Xander: Wait, that gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?
Anya: You never understood me, Xander.
Nancy: Xander, who is this woman?
Xander: Anya? She's... Anya. My ex.
Nancy: Oh.
Anya: Hey, nobody's bragging here. [gets up to leave]
Spike: [steps forward and grabs her arm]
Anya: Hey, hands off the merchandise, Spike. You don't get to go there again.
Spike: Please, I've already forgotten about our little time together.
Nancy: I thought you were Xander's ex-girlfriend.
Anya: I am.
Nancy: But you and Spike...
Anya: Had a thing.
Spike: Didn't last.
Nancy: But weren't you Buffy's...
Spike: Briefly.
Buffy: Never serious.
Nancy: Is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?
[Spike and Xander share a look]

Buffy: You haven't changed, Spike.
[violence ensues]
Spike: Workin' out some personal issues, are we? Hey, I guess this'd be first contact since you-know-when. Ooh, up for another round on the balcony, then? Right you are, luv. I haven't changed. Not a lick. And watching your face tryin' to figure me out was absolutely delicious.

Xander: She's not calling me.

Buffy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all evening?

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