Dawn: I think this thing has a freaking child lock on it.
Buffy: Sssh.
Dawn: You know, I'm not the shortest one here. I don't know why I had to be in the kid coffin.

Buffy: There's Willow, there's the looming humongo bad, and it's a school night. I should be home in bed, cuddled up to my insomnia and worrying how I'm gonna mess up tomorrow.

Buffy: What if their problems are weird and tricky?
Xander: I think you underestimate your familiarity with the world of 'weird and tricky'.

Xander: "From beneath you, it devours." It's not the friendliest jingle, is it? It's no 'I like Ike' or 'Milk, it does a body good.'

Buffy: It sounds like it's difficult for you. Like maybe your sister makes it hard for you to establish your own identity. You said she's controlling, she doesn't let you make your own decisions...
Dawn: Yeah, and she borrows my clothes without asking.

Robin: Talk like that is taken pretty seriously where I come from.
Buffy: The 'hood?
Robin: Beverly Hills. Which is... a 'hood...

Robin: I couldn't bust a move in high school, let alone someone's ass.

Xander: Strep throat, ear infection, yeast infections, none of my business... no real info here.

Xander: Okay, death really is on her brain.
Dawn: We all deal with death.
Xander: This girl isn't just dealing; she's giving death a long, sloppy word kiss.

Willow: A lot of teens post some pretty angst-y poetry online. I even posted a melodramatic love poem or two back in the day.
Xander: Love poems?
Willow: I'm over you now, sweetie.
Xander: Looooove poems.

Buffy: Buffy the Vampire Slayer would break down this door.
Xander: And Buffy the Counselor?
Buffy: Waits.

Cassie: There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out because they're really mean, and I think they're gonna be fat.

Robin: It's been a long week, huh? Thank god it's Friday. I can't believe I just said that.

Buffy: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: Nothing. If I don't move, if I don't think, if I don't listen to the voices, then I won't hurt... much...

Buffy: Do you know why I came back to Sunnydale High?
Kid: To creep me out?
Buffy: To help. I'm a counselor here because I wanna help. I know what it's like to walk these halls and feel lost, alone. I just wanna make things better. Connect. And I'm going to connect with your face if you don't stop wasting my time and help me do my job.

Spike: Here to help. No hurting the girl.

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