"My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it." -Buffy Summers

Joss was quoted several years ago as saying that the trick to making BtVS work is to keep Buffy miserable. Certainly an effective trick, but while looking back at Buffy's life as the Slayer, I gotta wonder if just maybe this one person has been through enough...

Pre-Sunnydale
The previously happy and popular Buffy learns of her Calling. She loses her friends, she's branded a discipline case, her Watcher is killed, she's expelled from school, and her parents divorce. And that's before the show even starts.

Season One
Buffy is uncomfortable with accepting the burden of being the Slayer (and who wouldn't be?). I mean, it's cool and all to kick some ass, but it quickly becomes clear to her that as long as there are vamps to kill, she's never going to have the kind of life she wants. Being the Slayer clearly sets her apart from everyone, and not in a good way. First, she's a social outcast. She used to be Ms. Popular, but her duty quickly and firmly lands her in the "weird outsider" camp. Then when, remarkably, a nice, cute guy named Owen takes a liking to Buffy and accepts her Slayer life, she has to break up with him to keep him from harm. First in a long line, Buf. Better get used to it now. But wait, there's this brooding, gorgeous guy who's a part of her nightlife who can take care of himself. Things are starting to go really well with him, and AW CRAP! He's a vampire! But no sooner is Buffy beginning to deal with that than she hears the prophecy in the codex. She goes to her death, trying to save the world.

Season Two
Buffy spends the summer doing some massive not coping with her untimely demise, returning to Sunnydale with a serious attitude. She's even outbitching Cordelia. She alienates damn near everyone while struggling to deal with her overwhelming fear, pissing off everybody including her could-be boyfriend Angel. They even have, in this first episode of the season, an ugly confrontation where Buffy challenges Angel to fight, saying "come on, you must have thought about it, if it came to a fight, which one of us would win?" Girl, this belongs squarely in the "tempting fate" box. But even though she's forgiven for her understandable attack of the raging bitchies, she's still having trouble getting close to Angel because she's intimidated by this new lady vamp she's seen him hanging with. Of course, these fears are put to rest, and our Slayer looks to be in for some sweeping romance when we all see the happy fun that is Angel's curse. And then comes badness and hell for all. The rest of the season sees Buffy tortured and grief-stricken as she's forced to mourn the loss of Angel, then Jenny, then Kendra, then horribly, Angel again. Expelled from school, alienated from her mother, suspected of murder, having found Angel again only to have to kill him, Buffy is heartbroken and destroyed, and she leaves town, possibly forever.

Season Three
Buffy is, no surprise, miserable. She's run away, but the problems follow her. She can't escape her destiny, or the haunting dreams of Angel for that matter. So she goes home where all is decidedly bad. She's still expelled and outcast, her mother doesn't trust her, and her friends are too uncomfortable to be around her. Every relationship she has is damaged. Then she barely gets back into school when there's a fancy new Slayer in town whom everyone seems to like more than her. A nice boy likes Buffy, though, but no sooner can she contemplate dating him than Angel falls right back into her life, all crazed and feral. An awful run-in with Cordelia reaffirms just how impossible it will *ever* be for her to have a normal life, and just as she decides to give a relationship with Scott a fair chance, he breaks up with her. Oh yeah, and everyone finds out she's been harboring Angel. And they're pissed. Again enjoy the Slayer cut off from everyone. Except for Angel, but being around him isn't much better than slow torture since they know they can't be together. Then, just as she's "dumped" by her dad, Giles betrays her trust and is fired. A horrible new Watcher (lordy, how far he's come!) arrives to make her life even worse, but at least she & Faith are finally getting along. Too well. Oops, Faith kills a guy and tries to frame Buffy. Life is again BAD. A sneaky plan with Angel flushes out Faith's betrayal, but Buffy just can't deal with seeing them together. One might suggest that in the scope of things, she get the hell over it, but there's no stopping the Misery Parade. Because it's really, truly, heart-wrenchingly over with Angel. They share one dream of a moment together at Buffy's Prom (where the bratty ingrates of Sunnydale High finally acknowledge her sacrifices), but there's no time to enjoy it. It's over. And while everyone else is looking forward to their futures, Buffy has none. She's stuck in Sunnydale as the Slayer until she dies. Then Angel's dying. Then she's sunk to attempted murder and puts Faith in a coma. Because the Council won't help Angel. So screw them. And even though, miraculously, they survive the Ascension, Angel walks out of her life.

Season Four
College is hell. Buffy is what? Miserable. She's out of her element, cowed by her surroundings, and the big bad world is bigger and badder than she knew. Mean professors ridicule her, and stinky Parker uses her like a kleenex. Willow takes a turn leading the Misery Parade, but just when it looks like a new nice, normal guy likes Buffy, she can't even manage a happy Thanksgiving, what with the pain and the siege and the murder and a visit from her ex. Of course, she visits Angel in LA and finally tastes a moment of real happiness, but naturally, it comes undone, and she'll never remember the bliss - only the awkward pain of separation. But what's this - Riley really likes her! And things look good for them! No wait, he's part of the mysterious Initiative, and all is again bad. But he perseveres, and they are happy together and totally into each other... just in time for his world to go to hell and take her with it. Then, in case that wasn't enough, Faith's back and she's pissed. She swipes Buffy's body, so Buffy is captured by Council thugs and almost killed in Faith's place. And to add insult to injury, Faith screws her boyfriend. Not boyfriend's fault, but again, there's just no stopping the Misery Parade. Fine then, let's just go see Angel and yell at him. Maybe that'll help things. Nope, didn't help. Then Riley finds out about Angel's trigger, and the bad just keeps coming. Angel demonstrates his maturity and caring by coming to apologize, but of course, at the same time, Riley's best bud gets the royal skewer. And Riley disappears. So let's all enjoy the super fun that comes from Spike's seeds of mistrust. That's right - everybody hates everybody now! No, wait, they really don't, but it's clear things haven't been right for a long time. They're able to bring it together when it counts, but then they all get treated to a complimentary kill-you-all-in-your-sleep by the first Slayer.

Season Five
Dracula comes to town with a yen to taste the Slayer. Which he does. And Buffy's sister is suddenly so annoying! Riley damn near dies, then Buffy is nearly killed by a lucky vampire with really bad hair. And to make life so much more fun, Joyce is having some serious health problems. Oh yeah, then there's that new baddie in town who can wipe the floor with Buffy and not break a sweat. And Buffy's love life goes all to hell. Oh, and let's not forget finding out that Dawn isn't even really her sister! Riley's become self-destructive since his health problems, and Buffy doesn't do a thing to help that relationship. Of course, Buffy can't exactly concentrate on that because Joyce is getting worse. Some strong words from Xander open Buffy's eyes to the fact that she & Riley still have a chance to be happy, but of course that can't possibly happen. Buffy happy? Not if Joss has anything to say about it. So Riley leaves. Then the Council shows up to knock Buffy around a bit. Buffy's sister is cutting herself, and Spike threatens to kill Buffy if she won't try to love him. Oh, and then? Joyce dies. Because they really hadn't made Buffy suffer quite enough. Buffy's father, meanwhile, is awol and couldn't seem to care less. So at this point, with all the trauma and pain, Buffy is pretty much shut down emotionally. Well, of course she is. And because all this still isn't quite enough to have to deal with, that crazy whip-Buffy-like-a-frothy-confection hellgod is after Dawn now, and they have to run. Buffy feels like a failure. And that's before Giles gets speared in the gut during the escape. But the escape just gets funner and funner because Glory takes Dawn. So Buffy takes time out for a brief waking coma to dream about how she's killing her sister. Frankly, it's about time the girl broke down. But there's no time to enjoy the refreshing catatonia because Dawn's going to be killed. And the wonderful news is that if Dawn isn't killed, pretty much everyone else on the planet will be. So Buffy picks a third option, and I don't blame her. Sacrifice herself instead. Lay it all down, save the world, and finally rest.

You'd think she'd done enough, wouldn't you? Nope...

Season Six
Item number one on the Slayer's "To Do" list? Claw her way out of her grave. And the first thing she has to do is fight for a life she's not even happy to have back again. This isn't an energized, determined Buffy who returns. It's an emotionally stunted and scarred Buffy who barely resembles the girl we used to know. And hey - welcome back, Buffy - you're broke! Yep, you need some seriously expensive home repairs, and you have no marketable skills. Actually, I think she could easily teach self-defense - or get a paycheck from the freaking Council - but why get her a fulfilling job when it's so much more fun to keep her miserable? Especially with a sister who's doing her level best to land in juvenile detention. The only person Buffy can stand being around at this point is Spike. But soon as she kisses him, he gets all clingy and makes with the pressure for more. Which she doesn't exactly help with the flood of mixed signals she sends his way. And just when you think they're out of shoes to drop, Giles leaves. Giles. Leaves. I can't stand it. So what do you do to deter a persistent date... who can suddenly hit you now?! Have some serious violence and a heap of bruising sex. Excellent plan. Oh, and let's not forget the fun of having your magically-addicted best friend nearly kill herself and your sister, plus the extra fun of Social Services nearly taking Dawn away. So what's a Slayer to do? Get a crap job at the Doublemeat Palace that leaves her perpetually reeking of greasy meat. Then? Get framed for murder. Then find out her whiny brat of a sister's a raging kleptomaniac. Then have Riley come back with his new, wonderful life and his new, wonderful wife, and make Buffy painfully aware of how pathetic her life has become. But, wait - there's more! Now how much would you pay? Buffy thinks she's going insane and tries to murder everyone. Oh, what fun. Then even though she's broken up with Spike, he won't leave her alone and keeps nagging her to tell her friends about them. And nagging her to sleep with him again. She stands firm, but the cat inevitably finds its way out of the bag. Shame and anger all around. And, oh, then? Attempted rape! And just in case that's not enough, not only is her friend shot and killed, but Buffy winds up lying in her backyard with a gaping gunshot wound of her very own. Which she recovers from just in time to see her best friend flay someone alive. Just before that best friend decides to kill Buffy too. And Giles. Oh, and the whole world. And when this latest apocalypse is averted, Buffy finally starts to have herself a good cry. I don't blame Dawn for thinking Buffy might be kinda bummed the world was still there.

Seriously, can't a Slayer get a freaking break? I mean, I understand that the show is all about the pain of growing up and stuff, but everybody gets to be happy sometimes. With Marti Noxon coming on board as a co-exec producer, we've at least seen the pain shared around a little more, but it hasn't meant Buffy's been any happier. In fact, S6 was pretty much all about seeing just how miserable everyone could possibly get before they snapped. For all my crabbing sometimes, I wholeheartedly adore this show. But I have to doubt with all my heart that we'd love it any less if Buffy got to be happy just once in a freaking while without her world going, yet again, straight to hell. Joss and Marti, however, don't seem to agree with me...

Season Seven
S6's final image of Buffy was her finally crawling out of the grave again, bathing in bright, hopeful sunlight and promising her sister that things were going to be better. Unfortunately, that moment turned out to be a load of farm-fresh bull. As S7 progressed, I tried several times to think of how to continue this section, but this season's misery was different. In previous seasons, I could say "A happened, B was worse, and C just kicked her while she was down." This season, however, it was a steadily-growing, unrelenting misery that took over completely. Buffy's in the fight of her life. Again. The group is more fractured than ever. Buffy turns her back on everybody but Spike in the name of winning the fight, but each week, it eats another piece of her soul, turning her into a cold, cruel person who no longer resembles the girl we met a few years ago. I'm all for character development, but I kinda miss the days when I actually liked Buffy Summers. Not that I really blame her, though - after what she's been through in the past seven years, I find it astounding that she had any interest whatsoever in saving this world that's been so horrible to her.

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